Ten Things I Hate About Self-Imposed Deadlines

1. They always arrive. Rude.

2. I can’t get mad at anyone because I made them. I did it to myself.

3. Past me always vastly overestimates my work ethic and scheduling abilities.

4. I’m not as worried about disappointing myself as I am about disappointing others.

5. Probably because I’m not particularly hard on myself when I don’t make them. To quote every parent ever, “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.”

6. When I do miraculously meet a deadline, no one throws me a party. I at least deserve a present. And no, a sense of pride and self accomplishment is not a present.

7. Avoiding tasks required to meet said deadline is far too easy. I have the willpower of a… well, me. Which is not good.

8. Why do the tasks not associated with the deadline become infinitely more appealing? I cleaned my bathroom, y’all. My bathroom.

9. Completing my task, on deadline, would be greatly beneficial to me, therefore it is repugnant.

10. Let’s be real. If a self-imposed deadline is completed and no one else knows about it, did it even happen?

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